Updates and Thank You

I would first like to extend our deepest gratitude to everyone who came, donated, and helped out with our benefit last month 💜 Ashley and her family did an incredible amount of work to make everything happen, and we are so very thankful to them and everyone else for sharing their love and support around this event! We had so much fun seeing family and friends from near and far, many of whom we hadn’t seen in at least a few years! I was absolutely exhausted by the end of the day, but my heart was very full 💞

I have intended to post an update several times over the last few weeks, but it hasn’t been easy to accomplish. I’ve been to both urgent care and the emergency room for new and worsening symptoms. I spend my days trying to cope with the physical and emotional pain and stress of everything, and trying not to drown in the grief and anxiety that cancer has brought into my life. I find myself distancing from friends and loved ones because I feel like a constant burden. I’ve increased the frequency at which I’m doing psychotherapy, and am even seeing 2 different therapists now.

In addition to trying to manage my mental health, there are the endless appointments for trying to manage my physical health and pain. The recovery from surgery and spinal radiation have continued to be frustratingly slow, in my opinion, but I continue to do the work.

Now today is scan day. I won’t see the oncologist until Friday, so will be doing my best to cope with the dreadful wait.

We have been living in some degree of survival mode for the last 4 years, but since my May scans, we really have been barely limping along. From scans to treatments to more scans and more treatments… I don’t get enough time to recover before more crap gets piled on.

I’m ready to heal. I’m ready to be able to make plans, keep them, have big (fun) things to look forward to, and not let the fear and grief of cancer rule my every thought and plan. I appreciate your prayers and positive vibes for good news and healing in my future ❤️