Post-Op Day 2

Hi everyone! I’m alive and starting to feel like a human being again!

The past few days have been a complete, unending blur of chaos. So many tears, so much pain, so much stress.

I was transferred out of the ICU Tuesday evening and am now on the regular neuro medical/surgical unit.

My neurosurgeon came in to see me this morning. A (tortuous) MRI last night shows they got everything during surgery, but radiation is still recommended: maybe in another month or so once I have more time to heal from the surgery. Don’t even like thinking about it, but it’s weighing heavily on my mind.

The surgeon told me more about the tumor’s involvement of the spinal cord and nerve root. My spinal cord is still swollen, which is expected, and causing some of my sensory and motor problems. The C6 nerve root was a little invaded by the tumor and those right upper extremity sensory nerves were stretched over the tumor. So I May have lasting effects on the right arm/hand, but should see some improvement with help. At this point PT and OT have to do their evals, but he seems pretty sure I’ll need 1-2 weeks of inpatient rehab 😥😓 I will probably know more tomorrow. I tried standing tonight and my right leg is very weak. My knee and ankle didn’t want to cooperate or support me very well. My right arm and hand are also weak, with some numbness, making it tough to push buttons, use my phone, open or hold things… and the muscles in my back and neck don’t want to let me lift, hold, or move things. I’m needing a LOT of support, and even though my husband is a saint, I hate being so helpless with literally everything!

The neurosurgeon said pain is going to continue to be tough, and maybe tomorrow I’ll turn a corner, but increased activity will worsen it all…

Needless to say, I’m having a hard time with it all 😭 it’s so overwhelming. I’m scared of the unknown, the limitations. More treatments to hold me back from getting better… I miss my kids and home. I’m in pain, unable to perform basic self cares, uncertain of the days/weeks/months ahead… I often feel like I’m in an alternate universe or very bad dream.

Jess was able to visit today and help me try to fix my hair, try to work out some of the awful scalp scabs from the surgical positioning devices, and cheer me up. I am so thankful the timing worked out for her to visit before heading back home 💞

I feel your prayers and love and they are sustaining me ❤️💜💛. For as many interruptions and noises there are in a hospital, it is a lonely ass place. Going to try to rest now for a bit before the next interruption… thank you all so much for the continued support. I truly truly appreciate it all!!!! 🤗