Proton Radiation Complete + Updates

Proton radiation is finally complete! I finished my 8th treatment today and am very glad to be done! The treatment area is tender, tight, and sore, and the increased fatigue has been noticeable.

I’m doing my best to focus on the achievement, but the victory feels short-lived, as I have to go back on Friday for an abdominal MRI. I am also scheduled to have a procedure called a hepatic artery embolization on December 9 to deal with the 2 large liver lesions. I had hoped for the possibility of a non-invasive option, but I’m unfortunately not a candidate for that procedure at this time. The embolization will require a hospital stay, and side effects and recovery could last up to 10 or so days. The hope with this procedure is to cut off blood supply to the masses, so that they die… sometimes patients need more than 1 procedure to make this happen. I am really nervous about it all, but relieved to have an option that is less detrimental than another major surgery or more radiation.

I have barely had a chance to think about or plan for Christmas. We still have our Halloween decorations up. Normally by now we’re done decorating, wearing our Christmas jammies, and watching holiday movies. To be honest, it’s been tough to get in the spirit this year… it’s been a non-stop tsunami of crap these last couple of months, and it unfortunately continues. I can barely keep my head on straight.

Still praying for a Christmas miracle to be cancer-free. Healed. Healthy. Home and happy with my family. 🙏❤️

Made it Through Surgery!

Made it through surgery and am back home! Dealing with quite a bit of pain, soreness, and grogginess still. Overall, feeling relieved that it’s over, the mass is gone, and that I am still able to use my left arm and hand (tho currently limited from the pain and bandages). I’m not even 100% sure where the incision is, exactly, as the huge bandage is covering it all up. Have to keep this on for 5 days, then replace for another 5 days. The mass was in the axilla, kind of against the chest well and scapular muscles. It was pressing on the brachial nerve plexus, so I’m very hopeful that these awful nerve symptoms will improve as I heal 🙏🤞

The surgeon wasn’t able to locate the small scapular spot that showed up on the most recent MRI, so we’ll just have to watch that area and pray it is nothing and goes away on its own 🙏

Also still dealing with pain and discomfort from the ovarian cyst, but have had some moments of improvement amongst the pain, so also praying that resolves on its own! Still trying to get follow-up coordinated for that.

I really appreciate all your prayers, well wishes, and check-ins. Hoping I sleep well tonight! Last night only afforded me about 3.5 hours of sleep 🥴

Love to you all!! 🩷

1 Year Since Spinal Surgery

1 year ago today I underwent emergency spinal surgery to remove a tumor on my cervical spine. That night in the ICU I couldn’t move my head even a millimeter without the most excruciating pain I’d ever experienced. I had no idea how I would ever recover or walk or use my right arm and hand again. Through intensive OT, PT, chiropractic, and an insane amount of grit, I am still working to regain function and control pain, while learning to live with the consequences caused by the tumor, surgery, and radiation.

Tonight (and every day) we celebrate. We celebrate Life. Being alive. Being home with my family. Being able to walk without an assistive device. Being here to watch my kids grow. To experience simple pleasures in life and continue working towards healing and many more years together.
Thank you, God! 🙏 Here’s to even better days ahead 💖

Celebrating the Completion of Spinal Radiation

I was finally feeling physically and mentally ready to celebrate my radiation victory last night. Brandon and I went out for dinner at a lovely little Italian restaurant not far from home. We had a beautiful night for it! (We were also surrounded by sunflowers… tell me that isn’t a good sign 🌻).

While I’m still struggling with a lot of side effects (some of them continue to worsen), I was determined to do something special.

It’s been difficult to imagine celebrating anything when no one at my appointments has seemed to acknowledge much of the wins, but I’m beginning to understand that it’s truly no one’s responsibility but my own. I get to decide what counts as a win and how I choose to celebrate it✨ It would be nice if the staff cheered me on, but sadly that doesn’t seem like the world of healthcare right now.

Since I haven’t been able to ring the big bell at the clinic, I decided to buy myself a little hand bell, and will be using this as my “victory bell” whenever I feel like celebrating. It’s tiny, and seems kind of silly. But it also seems silly to not somehow acknowledge my triumphs. Honestly, each day of thriving with a Stage IV cancer diagnosis is a victory, so I know I should be acknowledging and celebrating more of my wins. I focus enough on the hard, uncertain, scary, and frustrating parts… this will be my attempt to bring more focus to the positives 🙏💜